everytime when we thought of running away.. He will just show up.. and give us an encounter that make us stronger to carry on..
everytime when we cry.. He will lend us His shoulders to cry on.. and give us a stroke on our head.. telling us.. "It's okiez.. I'm here with you.."
everytime when we felt rejected.. He poured down His love so strong.. that no one's embrace or love can be compared to His..
when we thought that no one understand us.. He came to us and said.. "Child, it's okiez.. I totally understand what you going through.. you can do it.."
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it dried up for a very long time.. i didn't share.. as i thought it will be alright.. however.. i was wrong.. i realised.. i'm always wrong in the things i do.. never once am i right.. =(
encounters.. He is a GOD.. that is ALWAYS ON TIME..
this week itself.. the feeling of rejection was so overwhelming in my life.. had this feeling that i'm the outcast in my family.. the feeling that no one will accept me..
not just this.. depression sinks in again..
hmmm.. guess not many of u all realise it.. as i've been a hyper, smiling person recently.. always showing quite a strong front.. the weaker side of me.. guess only ONE person know.. which is GOD..
i only dare to show GOD the weaker side of me.. as i know in HIM.. i'm sheltered.. i'm protected.. there is not a single moment i need to be afraid.. hence.. it is in HIS PRESENCE.. that i always wept.. as.. HE ALWAYS GIVES ME THE HUGS that i needed..
something i notice.. GOD's hugs are very different to those hugs that ppl gives me..
HIS hugs.. you really can sense the true and unconditional love HE has for you..
ppl's hugs.. sometimes can be cos u ask for it.. that they give u.. and it does not have the substance of love in it.. hence.. the one receiving it.. may not necessary felt the love.. however.. the one receiving it.. also need to be open and receive the love too..
if you wanna give someone a hug.. make sure.. u give because u really love that person.. and not out of convenience.. or because he/she ask for it..
if you wanna receive a hug.. be ready to receive that love your fren have for u too..
why suddenly i touched on this..?? as i found out.. there is no amount of hugs tt can be compared to a hug from GOD..
yes.. i love it when someone gives me a hug.. however.. sometimes i find tt it is really out of convenience.. or because i ask it from them.. it is no longer out of the pure love that they give me hugs..
pure love doesn't mean we got to be in those BGR.. then u can give me.. it simply means.. u care and concern and love me as a fren..
recently.. i asked a lot of hugs from ppl close to me.. but the kind of hugs.. it diluted away.. no longer can i felt that love u once had for me as a fren..
i'm open in receiving it.. however.. the hugs simply can't fill up the love tank that is in me anymore.. but thankfully.. the encounter i had with GOD.. it flood the entire love tank of mine..
i'm sorry for saying so much.. however.. just feel like pen-ing down some thoughts over here..
to frens out there.. thanks for loving me.. i know it is not easy to love me.. as i got lots of attitudes problem.. emotional problem.. but really thanks for bearing with me.. sorry to tired you all out by loving me..
really hope that next time.. when i hug you all once again.. i will be able to sense that love we had for each other once again.. and that it won't be a feeling of tiring u all down..
* i'm sorry for tiring you all down..
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hmmm.. my previous post.. hmmm.. i called everyone to stay out of my life.. as i don't wanna drag anyone into my emotional roller coaster ride.. that's why i wanna deal with it myself.. it is not ur fault.. so need not worry..
hmmm.. anyway this entry might like aiming at u all.. but at the same time.. it is aiming at myself too..
some sort of reminder.. to really be true in our love for one another bahz..
how do we know someone care / love us..?? simply by their actions..
so i'm here to remind myself abt it.. and remind u all too..
