- courage -give me one chance to change this all.. i never want to be the same.. i need the space to be alone.. could you leave me by myself..
i'm sorry for the things i've done.. i didn't want to hurt you at all..
all i could said.. i'm sorry.. could you give me one more chance..
courage to stand up.. courage to pick myself up..
i no longer want to be strong.. i know i'm weak but yet i act strong.. give me the courage to cry once more.. let me not break down anymore..
times i'm alone.. tell me i'm not alone.. times i'm wonder am i worthy.. you've told me that i'm all worthy..
i question myself.. why will you still love me.. but you simply answer.. you are the one i wanna love.. there's no reason for why i love you..
i try to love myself.. but it seems like i always hate myself.. you told me to love myself.. but it seems like the hardest thing i can ever do..
COURAGE is all i need..
1:36:00 PM ~♥ hEaRt pRiNtS ♥~
24 April 2008
- total dependence -i wanna depend on You much much more than now.. i wanna learn how to yield to You even much more.. =P
i realise apart from You.. i cannot do anything.. =X
let me experience You more and more each day.. let it be a brand new experience.. =P
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times of mourning.. times of discouragements.. it is just temporary.. i know that all these will not last..
hence i will choose to believe that You will bring me through.. indeed through it all.. =P
11:21:00 PM ~♥ hEaRt pRiNtS ♥~
19 April 2008
- five love languages - Your primary love language is probably Physical Touch with a secondary love language being Receiving Gifts. Complete set of results
Physical Touch:
10
Receiving Gifts:
6
Words of Affirmation:
6
Acts of Service:
5
Quality Time:
3
11:41:00 PM ~♥ hEaRt pRiNtS ♥~
- enjoying -i'm really enjoying every day of my life now.. though it is tiring every morning when i woke up.. however.. the joy of serving Him.. never fails to amazes me..
i do not know why.. but His Presence is getting stronger and stronger each day in my life..
the anointing that He has been pouring out.. it feels like fire.. i really wanna have more of it.. i wanna be able to serve Him all my life..
i may not have anything to give to Him.. but my life.. this one life i have.. i wanna give it to You.. use me.. change me.. make me become a better person..
all the days of my life.. i will live it to the fullest for You.. and You only.. =P
12:37:00 AM ~♥ hEaRt pRiNtS ♥~
16 April 2008
- breakthrough -i can sense that breakthrough is coming..
i do not know why.. but it feels like now is the preparation period for me.. in another few months time.. things will begin to change.. =X
so right now.. i really got to make sure i know what i'm doing.. so that when people asked.. i will be able to teach them too.. =P i don't wanna give them the wrong answer to the questions that they asked.. so yup.. =P i need to be sure.. =P
anyway.. i'm really looking forward to all my breakthroughs.. =)
new level of anointing is coming..
11:54:00 PM ~♥ hEaRt pRiNtS ♥~
14 April 2008
- still blessed -indeed Abba Father knows our deepest desire and cries of our heart.. =P
2 Corinthians 9:10 "Now may He who who supplies seed to the sower, and bread for food, supply and multiply the seed you have sown and increase the fruits of your righteousness..."
Philippians 4:19 "And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. "
Matthew 10:28-32 "And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father's will. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. "Therefore whoever confesses Me before men, him i will also confess before My Father who is in heaven.""
these 3 verses blessed me a great time.. =)
i was so called in a crisis the past few days.. i didn't let much people know.. except a few people close to me will know about it.. =X
i really got to say.. "Thank You" to all those who helped me out.. =)
indeed as you pray and submit your worries to His hands.. everything is well taken care of by Him who is in the heaven interceding for us.. =)
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Proverbs 19:17 "He who has pity on the poor lends to the LORD, and He will pay back what he has given."
Psalm 18:30 "As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the LORD is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him. "
today.. my SOT team went out for dinner.. we celebrated Jodie, Clara and Mosses B'day.. hahaha.. =P
we indeed had a great time of fellowship together.. [ i'm scared of the fries at the Botak Jones le.. ='( ]
hmmm.. towards the end there is this old lady came to our table and collected our plates.. at first i thought she was like one of the cleaner clearing our plates for us.. so i said "Thanks" to her..
but to my amusement.. =X she came over to collect our food and pour it into a plastic bag to bring it home with her.. =X
so i was like telling my SOT team about it.. so all of us felt led to give to her.. =P i don't know how much have we given to her.. but we can see that she is quite shocked over it..
hmmm.. so yup.. after that we went our separate ways home.. so when i reached home.. i was amazed again.. =P partly becos.. this is my first time i saw my mum smiling when she opened the door for me.. =)
haha.. okiez.. so when i was in the living room after putting down my bag.. my mum passed me $250 to buy my MP3 player for b'day present (early b'day gift from parents).. i was like so happy.. to the extend i asked her like 4-5times like "Am I dreaming..? You sure this is for me to buy..??"
indeed as you lend to the poor.. you are lending to the LORD.. =) He will definitely pay you back more than you can imagine..
i was like giving my last note in my wallet to the old lady by faith.. and when i reached home.. i received a 50x of what i've given.. hahaha.. =)
however.. i actually planning to use this money that i've received in another manner.. i won't say it here.. but i've planned on how i'm going to use it.. =)
my Abba Father is a Good God.. as you put your trust like a mustard seed into His hands.. He will show you what He is able to do with it.. =)
so let's learn to trust and believe in God in all situations.. and in all situations keep praising Him.. =)
11:58:00 PM ~♥ hEaRt pRiNtS ♥~
13 April 2008
- ???? -Dad.. help me with my unbelief.. i trust in You.. yet my flesh is struggling with it..
teach me.. guide me.. i need you badly.. =X
11:01:00 PM ~♥ hEaRt pRiNtS ♥~
12 April 2008
- improvements needed -yesterday was the first time i played for my new cg.. it's been a very long time that i played for cg.. so yup.. =P but anyway.. i will improve on my praise de.. haha.. =P
anyway.. it's cool.. u know why..?? cos 4 guitarist played together for cgm yesterday.. =) billy, bengy, junxiang and me.. hahaha.. =P all the 4 of us.. we play in pairs.. haha.. =)
hmmm.. anyway.. yesterday the experience was so good.. i can sense the anointing of God pouring down upon me.. the electrifying feeling on my hands.. =O HS.. i just want more of you.. i wanna have more new experiences with you.. i don't wanna go through a day without experiencing you..
1:22:00 PM ~♥ hEaRt pRiNtS ♥~
09 April 2008
- blessing -indeed all these comes from my beloved Abba Father.. =)
in good times and bad times.. HE is ALWAYS FAITHFUL.. =P
now.. all i wish for..
i need more financial blessing.. =X cos i need to do some shopping for my attire for SOT.. buying of more books for my SOT.. and my building fund.. =X
seems like i'm quite greedy.. but i really hope i can stop working after this month.. so that i can learn more things after the lesson at the console.. also money for my transport.. if i'm planning not to work..
reason why i don't wanna work.. cos the stress load like will be increasing real soon.. =X
these few days i'm so tired.. but i really got to learn to adapt to it.. =P if not it will really be tough.. =X
*pray for more financial blessing to come into my family.. =P
9:53:00 PM ~♥ hEaRt pRiNtS ♥~
08 April 2008
- silly gal -manz.. i guess this entry.. most of u will laugh at me.. maybe some will like.. wow.. ultimate sia.. hahaha..
okiez.. this is what happened to me..
today i was travelling to church for my SOT duty.. so supposely i will be able to reach like 8am.. the latest.. however.. on the journey to Boon Lay.. i was so tired.. that i slept throughout the journey..
this is the best part.. hahaha..
i woke up when the train was at Lakeside.. so i was thinking to myself.. okiez.. i still got one more stop to Boon Lay.. so i actually think to myself that why not i catch some more sleep.. =P so eventually i went back to sleep.. thinking that i will be able to wake up..
but to my horror.. the moment i woke up.. guess where am i..??
i ended up at Jurong East.. i was like.. i remembered my train is heading Boon Lay.. how come the train U-turn back.. i didn't know.. =X
manz.. first experience of over-slept in the train ride.. =X
haha.. recently experiencing all the first experience thing.. hahaha.. =X
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i'm blessed.. =)
remember i said that the cost of my SOT books.. someone will paid for it..??
i received the book list.. and the amount of books cost up to $180.. so i was like thinking.. maybe the person will at most give me $200 for it.. but to my surprise.. the person decided to bless me with $500 instead.. wow.. i'm so amazed by it.. truly amazed by it..
i really quite shock for all these experiences that i'm going through.. i'm very happy.. extremely happy..
what can i say beside this statement..
"GOD is GOOD ALL the TIME !!! ALL the TIME.. GOD is GOOD..!!!!!!!!!"
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i've decided to let go fully.. no longer look back anymore..
my future is right straight ahead.. all i want is to proceed on to my destiny.. i can't afford to be distracted once more.. =X
10:48:00 PM ~♥ hEaRt pRiNtS ♥~
05 April 2008
- i love you -after so many things that she had went through..
these are the words that you said to her..
" I LOVE YOU "
why..? what have she done to deserve your love..?
indeed NOTHING can separate YOUR LOVE from HER..
4:18:00 PM ~♥ hEaRt pRiNtS ♥~
- miss -
i wanna go back to the times.. whereby i look like that.. i don't wanna grow up anymore.. =X
taken like 3-4years back.. =X
my 18th b'day..
it was raining.. so hiding under a shelter to wait for the rain to stop.. so taking photos with my beloved brother, davis.. =)
my secondary sch days.. =X
if i'm not wrong.. sec 4 or 5 bahz.. =X
2:28:00 PM ~♥ hEaRt pRiNtS ♥~
01 April 2008
- the bucket list-i watched this show yesterday..
it taught me a few principles of life.. alot of things to ponder upon.. =)
questions from the movie:
if given the chance to know when will you depart from this planet, will you want to know? and how will you face it?
*btw.. i forget the exact words.. but this is roughly the way the question is being asked..
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the movie somehow like in-line with what pst tan preached for last week's sermon.. =) however.. just that the movie is a bit different.. becos.. these 2 main casts.. after knowing that they are about to die.. then they planned what they wanna accomplished before they passed away..
i'm really amazed the way they lead their lives till they die.. =P i guess it really change my entire conception about my life..
i really need to live my life to the fullest each day.. no more boring days.. doing nothing except sleeping.. =X
taken like 3-4years back.. =X
my 18th b'day..
my secondary sch days.. =X